Humorous Death Quotes
All the quotes in this collection (depending upon circumstances) are suitable to be used as part of a eulogy speech.
It's not that I'm afraid to die,
|I am ready to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great
ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
|I'm always relieved when someone is delivering
a eulogy and I realise I'm listening to it.
|One day can make your life.
One day can ruin your life. All life is, is four or five days that change everything.
|Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice
to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
|Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes
|Immortality: a fate worse than death.
|The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised, in spite of the fact that its market potential is great.
|At my age, I'm often asked if I'm frightened of death and my reply is always, I can't remember being frightened of birth.
|Life does not cease to be funny when people
die any more than it ceases to be serious
when people laugh.
George Bernard Shaw
|A friend of mine stopped smoking, drinking, overeating, and chasing women --all at the same time. It was a lovely funeral.
|The annoying thing about being an atheist is
that you'll never have the satifaction of
saying to believers, ‘I told you so.'
|Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome
|Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped
|Suicide would be my way of telling God that I quit
The idea is to die young as late as possible
|Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
|According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death.
Death is number two! Does that sound right?
This means to the average person, if you go
to a funeral, you're better off in the
casket than doing the eulogy.
|The living are just the dead on holiday
Death: A fate worse than life.
J. J. Furnas
|Anderl Heckmair spent his life as a mountaineer and led the first successful ascent of the North Face of the Eiger in 1938. He was told by a fortune teller in the thirties that he would die an unnatural death. ‘Oh no!' he exclaimed. ‘That means I'll die in bed.'