image of the suns raus through clouds in a blue skyI answer the heroic question
'Death, where is thy sting?' with 'it is here in my heart and mind and memories'.

 

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Humorous Death Quotes

Welcome to our collection of humorous death quotes.

All the quotes in this collection (depending upon circumstances) are suitable to be used as part of a eulogy speech.

Woody Allen

It's not that I'm afraid to die,
I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen


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Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life - Monty Python

Lyrics Here

I am ready to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great
ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Winston Churchill
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering
a eulogy and I realise I'm listening to it.
George Carlin
One day can make your life.
One day can ruin your life. All life is, is four or five days that change everything.
Beverly Donofrio
a portrait of Sir Winston Churchill
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice
to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Somerset Maughan

Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes
Benjamin Franklin

Immortality: a fate worse than death.
Edgar Shoaff
The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised, in spite of the fact that its market potential is great.
Milton Mayer
Sir Peter Ustinov At my age, I'm often asked if I'm frightened of death and my reply is always, I can't remember being frightened of birth.
Peter Ustinov
Life does not cease to be funny when people
die any more than it ceases to be serious
when people laugh.
George Bernard Shaw
A friend of mine stopped smoking, drinking, overeating, and chasing women --all at the same time. It was a lovely funeral.
Unknown
The annoying thing about being an atheist is
that you'll never have the satifaction of
saying to believers, ‘I told you so.'
Mark Steel

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome
Isaac Asimov
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped
Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx
Jerry Seinfeld Suicide would be my way of telling God that I quit
Tom Kleffman

The idea is to die young as late as possible
Ashley Montagu
Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
Mark Twain
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death.
Death is number two! Does that sound right?
This means to the average person, if you go
to a funeral, you're better off in the
casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
The living are just the dead on holiday
Maurice Maeterlinck

Death: A fate worse than life.
J. J. Furnas

Anderl Heckmair spent his life as a mountaineer and led the first successful ascent of the North Face of the Eiger in 1938. He was told by a fortune teller in the thirties that he would die an unnatural death. ‘Oh no!' he exclaimed. ‘That means I'll die in bed.'
 


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