Laying Out or Last Offices For The Deceased

No Last Office for The Deceased is the companion guide to this article.

This particular article is part of a series of guides/walk-through's that are still under construction and which details how anyone can organise and arrange any type of funeral for someone regardless of the circumstances of their death.

This is taken from the section that details how to arrange a burial funeral for a person whose death was expected and subsequently died at home.

This article is published now as a standalone diy guide to preparing the body prior to the funeral and is provided to help anyone who is considering making funeral arrangements without the help of a funeral directing company (diy) and keeping the deceased at home.

A lot of work has gone into presenting this guide and we did at one time seriously consider offering it as a download which would have only been available by pre-payment.
But a part of the ethos of this website is to help and encourage people to do things their own way when a death occurs and they are faced with the unenviable task of arranging a funeral for their loved one, so in keeping with that ethos this guide is free to all who wish to view it.

Further guides will include:

• Tips, advice and improvisations on how to move a body, the equipment you may or may not need and where to get it if you do, how to utilise equipment you might already have available but never even considered.
  
  
• Tips and advice on how, when and where to purchase a coffin, how to dress a coffin, how to place the body in the coffin, how to decide which size of coffin you will need and the many varied types of coffins available.

• Caring for the body in difficult circumstances, collecting the body from a hospital mortuary, caring for the body post mortem, when and how to seek professional help.

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Laying Out or Last Offices - Preparing, washing and dressing the deceased:

Laying out or last offices are terms that refer to the customary rituals usually performed after an anticipated death at home, these rituals used to be carried out by the nurses that attended the person during their illness and would include tasks such as washing the body, shaving, replacing dentures, tidying the hair and closing the mouth and eyes.
It may have also included dressing the body in nightclothes or other clothing provided by the family, but these days it's now all pretty much left to the funeral director and if the body is to be embalmed then it is usually carried out at the time of embalming.

This guide is to assist you with the procedures one would normally carry out in order for the body of your deceased loved one to remain at home prior to the funeral.

For the purpose and importance of practicalities this guide is written with little sentiment and as it is a purely personal choice that is guided by many factors we do not advise you on how to create the ambiance and atmosphere for the occasion.
Whether that may be with silent solemnity or music and prayers it is of course entirely up to you and your family.

We do however provide a couple of links which contain first hand accounts which we hope will inspire you and make you think about your own approach to setting the scene and the rituals you might like to perform.

This is a link to Undertaken With Love which is a US website that graciously provides a PDF download free of charge and is well worth reading.

This is a link to Crossings which is another US based website that provides the Resource Guide - A Manual For Home Funeral Care - which may provide further inspiration.

 

Jews believe that caring for the dead is one of the highest honours imaginable.

Some people who have carried out this last office for someone whom they have loved and cared for have described the experience as:

A feeling of tremendous honour and privilege

A sense of completeness

A continuation of the relationship

A deeply profound and emotionally intense experience for everyone involved

A real sense of fulfillment of ones responsibility to the deceased

A feeling of gratitude and respect, and an enhancement of the acknowledgement of the reality of the death.

It left us with a sense of having shared in something so extraordinarily special and emotionally rewarding that in the following weeks and months we were able to look back at the experience and benefit from the real feelings of comfort that the memory of it brought to us.

There are many reasons why you might want to keep the body of your deceased loved one at home prior to the funeral and the explanation given my almost everyone when asked is quite simply that they could not bear the thought of handing over their precious family member to what is often complete strangers, no matter how caring they are.

It usually has very little to do with costs and saving money (although personally we see that as a valid argument in its own right), its more to do with a sense of honour and respect, a feeling that it is the right thing to do and what the deceased would have wished.

Items you will need

The following is a list of essential items you will need if it is your wish to carry out this task proficiently, with dignity and with respect.

* Two or three hand towelsOr cut up a large bath towel, perhaps use some old towels that can be disposed of when you are finished.

* Two face cloths Or one face cloth and a small to medium sponge.

* A waterproof bed sheet such as a mattress protector or a plastic sheetYou can ignore this if the deceased is already laying on a sheet of this type.

* Two small to medium buckets Or plastic bowls such as the type used for washing up.

* Disposable gloves and face masks During the first stage of the preparation of the deceased it is essential to protect yourself from possible infections such as MRSA which are still a risk after death.

* Plastic rubbish bagTry to use a strong bag that will be easy to tie off because when you are finished it will probably contain various soiled and wet items for disposal.

* Liquid anti-bacterial soapTry to obtain a good branded soap if possible such as Sanitex, Santex or ActiveX.

* Alcohol gel rub Such as the type provided on hospital wards and in doctors surgeries, generally available from larger chemist stores such as Boots, be sure to get a alcohol based rub.

* Cotton budsFor cleaning the ears and nose if necessary.

* Paper towelsSuch as absorbent kitchen roll.

* Incontinence pantsAdult incontinence pants are available from stores such as Boots and are similar in design to a disposable nappy.

* One or two pillowsFresh clean pillows for presentation purposes.

* One safety razor, if maleIdeally a previously used disposable safety razor. Because the skin recedes back slightly after death the deceased may require shaving again two or three days later. An electric razor is difficult to use and will not do a very good job in these circumstances.

* Petroleum jelly Vaseline has a couple of specific uses which we will discuss as we come to them.

* ClothesThink about how the deceased will be dressed for visitors and have the clothes or night clothes laid out ready.

Items you may need

The following is a list of items you might not necessarily need, but may still find useful; this is in addition to the above list of essential items.

Placing your cursor over the item will give you a brief explanation of why the item may be helpful, do be sure to read this whole article though in order to assess its usefulness to you in your own particular situation.

* One large towelA large towel can be used instead of or as well as a plastic tray for containing any stomach fluids that may expel through the mouth.

* A cotton sheetYou might prefer to keep the deceased covered with a cotton sheet once the laying out is finished, or you may wish to present the deceased with only the head, shoulders, arms and hands visible to visitors.

* Ribbon(approx 1"to 2" wide)Ribbon has several possible uses for aiding with the presentation of the deceased, all of which will be discussed in the relevant section, also if you think it is required, ribbon is useful as a temporary aid in supporting the jaw to hold the mouth closed during the washing and dressing stage of the proceedings.

* A spray disinfectant such as DettolDisinfectant is ideal (providing it is not overused) if you would like to create the impression of a clinical environment where you are working, and/or where the deceased will be presented for visiting.
A spray disinfectant is also good for deodorising odors (do not spray into the air when people are present or likely to be in the room, only spray onto surfaces such as carpet and bed clothes or spray into the air overnight) but try to avoid mixing the smell of disinfectant with that of essential oils, just use one or the other throughout or if you do use both at least try to keep one as a subtle background hint of aroma rather than an overpowering mix of smells.

* A selection of large waterproof plastersFor covering any small wounds, sores, lesions, bruising or any other types of blemishes etc that it would be deemed as better to cover for the sake of appearance and aesthetics.

* Mouthwash Much better than plain or salt water.

* Disposable apronTo protect your clothes from getting wet and/or soiled.

* Surgical tapeSome people might find it a bit disconcerting to carry out some tasks with the deceased eyes still open, temporarily closing the eyelids with surgical tape which has good adhesion but can still be easily removed might help in these circumstances. Also there is a good possibility that if the tape is removed carefully (from the eyelid first), then the eyes will remain closed, thus alleviating the necessity to close them later.

* ScissorsUseful to have handy.

* Nasal clamps If you are easily upset by unpleasant odors then nasal clamps such as those used by swimmers or wax ear plugs (but obviously don't put them in your ears) will be essential to help you with some of the tasks you may need to carry out.

* A shallow plastic/metal container The use for this item will become clear upon further reading, or read the comment for large towel.

* Fabric freshener/deodoriser Febreeze or similar product, this is a pleasant smelling spray which can be used daily to freshen any fabrics in the room where the deceased is resting, it can also be used effectively to occasionally freshen up the clothes that the deceased may be wearing.

* Denture fixativeIf the deceased wore dentures. Often it is not necessary to use denture fixative but it would be an idea to have some available just in case, especially if the dentures have not been worn for some time or the gums have receded.

* Superglue, white-tac, double sided tapeIts highly unlikely that you would need to use superglue but you might need to keep some handy as a last resort when all else fails on certain aesthetic procedures, all of which will be fully explained further on. White-tac or double sided tape might be a better and safer option to try first but we will discuss this as we come to it.

* Olive oil - Grapeseed oil - Sweet Almond oilUse any of these oils as a carrier for the essential oils if that's what you have decided to use. About five drops of essential oil in 10ml of carrier oil.

* Moisturising lotion Perfumed moisturising lotion such as Fenjal can be used on its own and simple moisturising lotion or cream (we recommend E45) can be used as a base before anointing in essential oils.

* Essential oilsSandalwood – Often used in India as a perfume for bodies, the scent is believed to carry prayers and spirits to heaven. Cedarwood - Has always been associated with the laying out of bodies, the oil was used by the ancient Egyptians for embalming, it is also known for its properties as an insect repellent. Lavender – Often favoured oil for using around the body due to its very strong perfume and antiseptic properties. Rose oil - is well known for its calming and soothing properties. Peppermint – Is considered to have very potent deodorising attributes but also consider Clove oil - Bergamot or citrus oils can be uplifting and helpful for the person caring for the deceased. Other oils used in the rituals of body preparation include Myrrh and Frankincense. If you wish you could experiment by mixing some oils.

* Scented candles This is another good way of masking any possible odors, often this has the added benefit of creating a sense of peaceful ambiance within the room where the deceased is resting. The trick here is not to overdo the use of strong perfume smells, use deodorising sprays first and then after they settle or prior to receiving visitors you can light the candles.

* Joss sticksUse joss sticks in the same way as candles, again, try not to overdo it as some can be very potent, also it might be a good idea to place one or two joss sticks in other areas and not just in the room with the deceased.

* SaltIf you wish you can add salt to the final rinsing water when washing the deceased.

* Hair brushYou might also want to consider any favoured hair dressing or hair decoration such as ribbon or slides etc.

Should you decide to seal the throat and nasal cavity of the deceased then you will need the following two extra items; cotton wool balls and long tweezers/forceps.

Rigor mortis

Ideally this last office should be carried out before the onset of rigor mortis Rigor mortis refers to the stiffness that occurs after death and is due to the build up of lactic acid because the muscles are no longer being fed. which starts at between four to six hoursThis figure is just to give you a mean indication of when rigor mortis starts as it varies so much and depends on many factors, such as sex, age, physical condition, muscular build and even the ambient temperature of the environment at the time of death, its not unusual for rigor mortis to start as early as two to three hours after death and as late as seven to eight hours. after death and can continue for a couple of days or so, rigor mortis starts from the head and works its way down the rest of the body, therefore if the deceased is to be visited its important to close the jaw before the onset of the rigor, unfortunately this is a bit of a catch 22 situation because there are other necessary things to attend to first that involve not having the jaw closed.

Assumptions

For the purpose of this particular guide we will assume the best case scenario and in other guides we will look at how to deal with some of the more difficult situations.

We assume:

The time of death was no more than four to seven hours ago

The deceased is of average height 5'8" to 5'9" male, and 5'3" to 5'4" female and weight 12 to 13 stone male, and 10 to 11 stone female

The deceased is lying on a bed with good access all around

The death was not due to a chronic lung disease

The deceased has no large open wounds

Severe oedemaOedema is the swelling of a part of the body because it is retaining fluid, it can be anywhere but is usually in the legs, feet or ankles. is not present

You will be assisted by at least one other able person

You have access to fresh clean warm and cold water

Procedures

We have split the procedures for these last offices into two stages; the short first stage which we are calling "clinical" involves the preparation of the deceased prior to the start of the second stage which involves washing, dressing and presentation, which we are calling "aesthetic".

Family

As this is a family based guide, there's no reason why other members of the family or other persons whom you feel it is appropriate should not assist if they wish.
Of course this is entirely up to you, but we would suggest that in order to preserve the dignity of the deceased and to avoid possible upset to other well meaning helpers, it might be a good idea to limit the initial assistance at the first clinical stage to one or two people, ideally they will also have read this guide or at the very least you will have briefed them on their roll and what to expect.

Preparation

From this point on for ease of writing, 'the deceased' will now be respectfully described as 'the body'.

Before you start remember to don your gloves and mask and also your apron if you are using one as you are likely to be coming into contact with body fluids or faeces, you may also like to wear nasal clamps for this stage.

If your gloves do become soiled its best to change them To safely remove the gloves pull one off from the wrist by holding the latex without touching your own skin, ensuring that it turns inside out as you remove it, use the same procedure for the other glove whilst holding the previously removed glove, thus both gloves are inside out and one glove is enclosed in the other. as soon as possible in order to help prevent any form of cross contamination.
Use a clean towel to dry your hands Applying a little talcum powder will also help. (which may be sweaty) before donning fresh gloves, should you decide that you don't want to wear gloves (not recommended) you should wash your hands frequently and apply alcohol gel rub.

Body fluids

If there is a urinary catheter still in place then you can remove it yourself by cutting off the very ends of the tube which will allow the bulb to deflate and then carefully pull it out, make sure you have a thick towel or incontinence pad in position because urine will come with it.

You can if you wish empty the bladder further by gently but firmly pushing down on the area of the lower abdomen just above the pubic bone.
You may find the smell of the urine to be heavy and offensive.

There is a possibility that when you roll the body onto its side the fluids that are still in the stomach may expel through the mouth, and just to warn you, this fluid can be extremely offensive smelling, if you want to avoid the possibility, After death many various enzymes and bacteria begin to break down the internal organs and tissue, other bacteria produce toxins which cause gases to build up in the body, eventually these gases will cause noticeable distention, but before that there is the possibility that the gases may cause the body to purge, (this is another reason to seal the throat cavity). These naturally occurring events will not happen immediately and there will be time enough for everything you want to do (within reason) but this is something that you should be aware of. (A cold environment will slow this process down) you can do so by sealing off the back of the throat with cotton wool balls, five or six should be enough, you can use the tweezers/forceps to place them and if you smear petroleum jelly on the first two this will act as a good initial barrier and will also aid with the positioning of the others, it would also be a good idea to drip a couple of drops of peppermint oil or disinfectant Use peppermint oil if you also intend to use other essential oils and/or scented candles to mask any possible unpleasant odours in the room, use Dettol or another disinfectant brand if you intend to use deodorising sprays and chemicals to give the room more of a clinical smell. onto the cotton wool balls without the petroleum jelly.

If you get this far then its probably a good idea to also seal the nasal cavity, this time just break off some smaller pieces of cotton wool and following the same procedure for the throat, push three or four pieces deep into each nostril, if the nose starts to bulge out a bit at the bridge, then either push the cotton wool further into the cavity or remove some.

You are bound to feel uncomfortable with this somewhat invasive task but if you are able to do it, it will make other things so much easier for you later on, before deciding whether to seal the throat or not you could attempt the method described below to try and empty the stomach first and although this is an important concern we really don't want to put you off by making to much of an issue out of it because despite the graphic description of the likely occurrence of these natural events, often it is just a case of keeping the head elevated above the rest of the body and cleaning up any seepages from the mouth whenever they happen.

Placing a sheet under the body

The body should be lying on a mattress protector or a plastic sheet and ideally underneath this should be a bed sheet, so if there is not already then it will be a lot easier for you now and in the long run if you place a bed sheet and a plastic sheet under the body before you start.

This describes how to place both a cotton and plastic sheet under the body, also the precautions to take in the case of fluids from the stomach if the throat has not been sealed.

Position the body in the middle of the bed and remove any pillows, turn the head to face the direction you are going to roll the body and place a shallow plastic tray in a position in front of the face so that when the body is rolled onto its side any stomach contents, if they are going to, will expel into the tray, if you would prefer not to use a tray then just improvise with a thick towel.

Carefully pull the body onto its side from the shoulder and the hip, one or two persons should hold the body in this position whilst another person attends to the other tasks, which are, firstly, mop up any obvious fluids remaining in the mouth with an absorbent material such as kitchen roll, then lay both sheets out on the bed with the plastic sheet on the top, bunch up or concertina accordion style and tuck as much of the edge of the sheets as you can under the body, carefully roll the body back down and onto the sheets and pull out from under the body the previously located sheets, move the body to near the edge of the bed which will be a better position to work from.

If no fluid came up from the stomach then unfortunately that doesn't mean there isn't any, all it that might mean is that it hasn't happened yet, you could try again by rolling the body right over this time instead of just on the side, if this doesn't work then there is a good possibility that it may not happen at all, however in view of the fact that you will be dressing the body and therefore moving various body parts around to facilitate the dressing, you should reconsider carrying out the procedure of sealing the throat with cotton wool.

Laying Out - Last Offices

First stage (Clinical)

So now we will assume that one way or another the possibility of the body voiding fluids from the stomach when it is moved has been alleviated, also the body is unclothedIn the case of a female you may wish to leave a brassiere or top in place. and on a plastic sheet with a clean cotton sheet below.

This describes how to wash the back of the body and place the incontinence pants, There is bound to be seepage but packing the lower orifices (anus and vagina) is an unnecessarily invasive and old fashioned procedure these days which is not recommended. you will need a bucket or bowl of warm and cold water, deodorising liquid soap, two face clothes and a towel, to the cold (rinsing) water add either salt (for its slight sanitising properties or cultural preferences) or a small amount of disinfectant.

When someone dies the blood in the body gravitates to the dependent areas, therefore if the body was lying on its back, this is where the blood will gravitate and settle, which means that the whole of the back area of the body including the legs, arms, back and buttocks will appear bruised and blotchy.
This is called liver mortis, the blood may remain fluidYou can check whether the blood is still fluid by pressing down on a discoloured area, if the area blanches then the blood is still fluid. for several hours and will gravitate to other lower areas as the body is moved around, but after a while it will settle and remain permanently fixed, therefore the body should not remain in a face down position for any longer than is necessary to carry out the required tasks.

Also when a body is moved for the first time after death the lungs may expel any remaining air which is often witnessed as a groan coming from the body and may cause distress to someone who is not aware of the possibility.
Both of these occurrences are a normal and natural sequence of events after a death and though they may initially be a little distressing, they should be of no cause for concern.

Position the body to one side of the bed and turn the head to face the way you will roll the body, this is a two person task with one person pulling the body onto its side from the shoulder and the hip and the other person assisting by pushing from the opposite side, then both just support the body a little as you allow it to roll the remainder of the way onto its front.

Before you start washing the body, remove any soiling that is on the plastic sheet where the body was lying, regardless of soiling or not, spray or wipe the sheet with disinfectant and thoroughly dry, if faeces have leaked causing soiling on the body clean this using disposable absorbent towels.

Start from the neck washing every easily accessible part of the body, wash areas and limbs one at a time with warm water and soap to start with, rinse off with the cold water and a clean cloth and then finish off by drying thoroughly, lastly mop up any water that has run onto the plastic sheet around the body.

It will be a lot easier to position the incontinence pants now rather than after you have turned the body back over, pull the legs apart slightly and position the pants around the buttocks tucking as much of the front of the pant around to the front of the body as you can, including the groin area.

In the case of a female that you intend to dress with a brassiere If it is appropriate, an excellent and very easy to fit alternative to a brassiere is a boob tube, or just use a vest or tee shirt.(Basically just do whatever you feel comfortable with) (if not already), at this point it will probably be easier to get the brassiere in position now rather than after turning the body because you now have good access to the back and thus more easily able to close a fiddly brassiere clasp.

Tuck the brassiere under the body bringing the straps around to the back, ensure that the brassiere is the right way up and close the clasp, finish off fitting the brassiere once you have turned the body back over.

Turn the body back over by reversing the previous method and also ensuring that the pants stay in position, once the body is again lying on its back you can adjust and close the pants as tightly as possible after cleaning up any soiling around the groin area, you may also wish to put conventional underwear over the incontinence pants, if so then trim any loose ends from the incontinence pants first, if relevant now is also the time to finish fitting the brassiere which will be much easier as you only have to get the arms through the straps and make any adjustments.

In the case of a wide bed, move the body to the edge of the bed by either lifting the body or pulling the plastic sheet with the body on it, this will make it easier for access to the body, the ideal situation would be for the body to be on a single bed with the headboard removed and good access all around or if you are able to transport the body to a large (long) table then so much the better.

Check the body for any noticeable small wounds and lesions Such as intravenous entry points, skin tags, sores, boils, warts and moles etc. which you can then cover up with the waterproof plasters after first carefully cleaning the area with alcohol gel rub on a disposable paper towel, you may also wish to cover up any prominent bruises or abrasions.

Before continuing, if you are a little uncomfortable with the eyes being open you can close them for now using a small strip of surgical tape; do this by carefully pulling the eyelash down to close the eye and placing the surgical tape Undertakers and embalmers use eye caps, which are small clear plastic domes that fit under the eyelids to give the appearance of a fuller, less sunken eye, often the domes are serrated which will hold the eyelid closed when it is pulled over it. over the eyelid and down onto the top of the cheek, a little below the eye.

Remember to clean the eyes of any discharge first because if you do decide to close the eyes now, then there is a very good chance that the eyes will remain closed without further intervention, (provided the tape is removed carefully) you may even wish to leave the tape in place for a little longer to increase the chances of the eyes remaining closed.

Also at this time As opposed to later, (closing the mouth would usually be one of the last tasks). you may wish to close the mouth because there is also the possibility that it to will remain closed, closing the mouth and keeping it closed can be a bit tricky due to the weight of the jaw, which if left unattended will drop and leave the mouth gaping open.

You can close the mouth now if you wish by passing a ribbon under the jaw a couple of times and tying it off on the top of the head, use hair slides or hair grips to help hold the ribbon in place or in the case of a bald head use surgical tape, though not an ideal solution, The most common method of mouth closure by undertakers and embalmers is by oral suture. This is a stitch that passes along the base of the gum in the lower lip passing under the medial ligament in the centre. The stitch is continued under the upper lip into the nostril and through the nasal septum into the other nostril and then descending under the top lip close to the upper jaw bone. The mouth can then be closed by supporting the lower jaw whilst tying the ends of the suture in a secure knot. The whole procedure usually takes less than a minute and is an effective and efficient (though somewhat invasive) method of closing the mouth (we are definatly not suggesting you attempt this procedure). it is the only one available to you at this stage if you wish to hold the jaw closed whilst the body is dressed.

A temporary alternative for closing the mouth which can be utilised during the washing and anointing of the body As there is unlikely to be much physical movement of the body. and which will also give you unrestricted access to the face and hair, is to prop the head on a couple of firm pillows or cushions causing the head to tilt forward and the jaw to close, you can further aid the closing of the jaw by placing a rolled up hand towel or even a toilet tissue roll under the chin.

If you decide to close the mouth now, then clean in and around the mouth first, also remember to fit any dentures and hold them in place by applying a fixative gel.

Laying Out - Last Offices

Second stage (Aesthetic)

So the situation now is; the body is on its back and near the edge of the bed, a brassiere and/or incontinence pants are fitted and the mouth and eyes are either closed or remain open, it should now be ok for you to remove the gloves and mask and to continue without them but scrub up well and apply alcohol gel before you do.

Before you invite in other assistants or observers and although not totally necessary, it would be a good idea to place small folded towels across the body at the chest, groin and knees; these are purely for the sake of dignity and aesthetics and can be moved about and repositioned as necessary.

If at all possible allow everyone who wants to, the opportunity to participate and share in this unique and special experience.

Wash the front of the body in exactly the same way that you washed and dried the back, if you have other assistants and there is room for them to work, then each can work on their own specific area such as the head and face, the legs, arms or torso.

Wash Or alternatively use cleansing facial wipes. and dry the face by using a dabbing motion, if necessary clean the ears and nose with cotton buds, immediately disposing of each one after use to avoid possible cross contamination, if the mouth is still open then clean in and around it with mouthwash before fitting any dentures.

Its not really possible to wash the hair very well in this situation but if it really does need doing you could try using a dry shampoo or just use very slightly soapy warm water and a hair brush, brush the soapy water through the hair and rinse the brush off in a separate bowl of water each time, you will also need a hair dryer, applying a good spray hair conditioner such as Aussie Miracle Hair Insurance will also make a noticeable difference (even on previously unwashed hair).

When shaving a male (assuming he doesn't normally wear a beard) use cold water and a used disposable razor with shaving foam or gel, its also ok to use soap providing you can get a good lather up, also be aware that razor-burn can still occur if you are not careful, avoid using electric razors as they just don't work very well in this situation, also if necessary carefully trim the eyebrows and any ear or nasal hair and the beard if there is one.

Before moving on to dressing mop up any water drips and spills that may have occurred around the body and remove the plastic sheeting by pulling it out from under the body, it will be easier and there will be a lot less to pull through if you cut the sheeting at one side of the body and pull it through from the other side.

An alternative method of removing the plastic sheet is to roll the body onto its side and cut the sheeting close to the body, then roll the body back onto its other side and simply remove the sheeting from the bed.

Your options now are to either continue with dressing the body or to apply moisturising creamE45 is an excellent choice in this situation or lotion and / or essential oils before dressing, we suggest that you at least apply moisturising lotion to the hands, forearms, neck and face if the body is to receive visitors, applying an unscented moisturising lotion or cream is a good base for massaging / anointing the body with essential oils, you can use any of the previously suggested oils as the carrier for the essential oil but don't overdo it as you still have to dress the body, and the clothes could get oily.

Dressing the body

Dress the body in any clothes that you feel are suitable, As this article is part of the scenario for a burial there are no restrictions on the clothes that the body is dressed in there is no easy nor right or wrong way to dress the body, except to say that it is not a one person task and ideally it should be carried out with three or four people working together, its not unusual to have to cut some clothes in order to get them to fit on the body, for instance to get a shirt on you might need to cut it up the back to the collar and then just tuck it around the back of the body, jewelry can be left on or removed as you feel is appropriate.

Ignoring our previous assumptions regarding body weight, this is a relevant tip for dealing with larger (but not obese) bodies where fluid may often seep out through the skin, rather than dressing the body for visitors just drape the body in a sheet which will allow easy access for the necessary mopping up, washing and other care of the body.

From this point on 'the body' will now be referred to as 'the deceased'.

If it is your intention to allow it, this next section deals with the aspects of preparing the deceased for visitors and the practical regular checks required, in particular the checks you should carry out just prior to visitors.

At this point the deceased should be washed and clothed, And shaved in the case of a male. the deceased should also be lying on a clean sheet and the mouth and eyes will be either open or closed.

The Mouth

Generally speaking, if the jaw is supported closed for 12 hours or so pre-rigor mortis or at the onset of rigor mortis Although the jaw can still be closed once the process of rigor mortis has established itself, there is no way to hold the jaw permanently closed without some form of support or the intervention of an undertaker or embalmer then it will remain closed unsupported, usually it will remain closed without support post rigor mortis as well, although not fully as the weight of the jaw will always pull the mouth open slightly.

The only two viable non invasive methods of holding the mouth closed in this situation (diy) are to use either of the two previously mentioned methods of the ribbon or the towel, we recommend the towel Or toilet tissue roll, or any other suitable item that you are able to ingeniously utilise. because this is very easy to position and remove as necessary, also if you do have to leave it permanently in position it will not look to odd or out of place.

If you are really in a jam and all attempts to close the mouth have failed then you could try this option, - when a mouth naturally closes, for instance when chewing, the bottom teeth fit inside the top teeth, so pack some white-tac or similar material (you could try denture fixative) behind the top teeth, then when you close the mouth the white tac will also grip the bottom teeth and hold the mouth closed, this may require some trial and error in order to be effective and the teeth also need to be clean and dry.

The Eyes

The eyes can also sometimes be a bit tricky to keep naturally closed, traditionally a coin (old penny) was temporarily placed on the eyes to help hold them shut, we recommend that you still use this old method which is simple to do and very effective, also its very easy to remove and replace a coin (probably 50p now) whenever necessary for visitors, alternatively a damp cotton wool ball will also hold the eyes closed, it will also help to apply a light film of Vaseline to the inside of the bottom eyelid.

The Face

Usually because they are the only two exposed areas, the face and hands are the main focus points for most people when visiting the deceased and therefore you should do the best you can to make these as presentable as possible.

Apply a good moisturising cream or lotion to the face and petroleum jelly to the lips This will also become a part of your regular daily routine when checking all is as it should be prior to the deceased receiving visitors. as this will help when dehydration begins to occur, also apply any make-up that is appropriate It's not uncommon to apply a little blush to the cheeks of a male. Also its not unusual to shave off the light downy facial hair from a female or child prior to applying make up, this is to prevent the make up from noticeably clogging on the hair. and tidy or style the hair.

The Hands

Wash and dry the hands and if necessary clean and trim the nails, brush or spray on a light moisturiser Unless you are definitely not going to use any aids to hold the hands clasped, in which case moisturise all of both hands. once the hands have been positioned and are unlikely to be disturbed again

The usual position for the the hands is for them to be folded or clasped across or just below the chest, they are often presented clasping an object such as a prayer book or a bible.Or perhaps a significant photograph or an item of memorabilia, or just simply a flower such as a single stemmed rose.

Clearly its not possible for the deceased to clasp an object so the usual approach would be to place the hands together one over the other with the thumb of the hand that is on the top positioned in the palm of the hand below, then place the object that you wish the deceased to appear to be holding under both hands so that it looks as though it is being held to the chest.

It might be difficult to get the hands to stay clasped together in which case some carefully positioned Under the fingers of the hand on top and/or the thumb in the palm. When a body is embalmed and subsequently positioned the embalming chemicals will cause the body to set in that position permanently. double sided tape or white-tac will help to achieve the desired effect, you could also try supporting the elbows If the deceased is to be presented in their coffin then the hands will generally stay in the clasped position without any help because the sides of the coffin support the elbows. with small cushions or something similar, as a last resort Using superglue really must be a last resort as it is very unforgiving with mistakes and you will rarely get a second chance. when all else fails a couple of tiny dabs of super glue discretely placed will accomplish the task.

As mentioned earlier, while it is still fluid, blood will gravitate to the dependent parts, so you should try to keep the hands raisedJust to be clear, we don't mean that the hands should be held high, simply just try to always keep them above the level of gravitation as much as possible to allow the blood to gravitate away from them, for instance resting across the chest and not by the side of the deceased. at all times

The Feet

When the legs are laid out straight the feet will naturally splay outwards, you may wish to leave the feet in this position but if not they can easily be put straight by tying them together with ribbon, or in the case of shoes on the feet by applying a bead of superglue to the edge of the sole where the shoes touch once brought together, alternatively simply cover the feet with a plain or decorated folded sheet.

This concludes the guide for Laying Out or Last Offices.

Rely on your own senses, intuition and instincts to lead you, remember this is only a guide and you should only use it as such.

Each persons circumstances will be different and many of the procedures mentioned above may not apply to you, however common sense should prevail and you will now at least be armed with the knowledge of what to possibly expect.
So weigh up all the pros and cons, as this guide will we hope, make things a little easier if you need to make some difficult decisions.

Keeping the body cold

The length of time the deceased will remain presentable will vary due to, and among other things, the cause of death,If there was something nasty going on internally. and the ambient temperature of the body, keeping the body as cold as possible is the goal and there are several ways to achieve this, the most common Though we have never used dry ice nor seen it used, and we are not sure of its common availability. talked about method is to use dry ice wrapped in towels or sheets and placed around (but not touching) the body, In particular the main area to keep cold is the torso where in life the bacteria which were helping us now multiply in their millions, reverse their role and aim to help dispose of us. also there are some safety issues Never touch dry ice with bare hands. associated with using and handling dry ice such as burns to the skin  and storage for which you should seek expert advice.

Supermarket ice packs are certainly a viable alternative but they are not as cold as dry ice and will need to be checked and replaced more frequently, if using these then concentrate more on the torso area than anywhere else, our favoured method of keeping a body relatively cool is to use a combination of ice packs and portable air conditioning units, air conditioning unitsThese should be easily available from your local hire shop, though try to avoid industrial size units if they have to be carried upstairs (even portable home air conditioners are heavy). are easy to set up and will cool a room very quickly, also they will be fairly easy to move in and out of the room if necessary to allow for visitors.

When the deceased is no longer presentable

Following the above guidelines it should be possible to keep a body relatively presentable for four or five days, your own instincts should tell you when it is time to place the deceased in a coffin and seal it closed, but a couple of the signs you should look out for include, sudden (perhaps overnight) discolouration appearing and excessive dehydration of the face resulting in the features appearing a lot more drawn and shrunken.
But perhaps the most obvious sign that nature is taking control will be the increase in odours that at first may not seem to bad but can very quickly turn quite offensive.

Daily routine

In order to avoid distress and to preserve the memory of the deceased the body should be checked regularly to ensure that it is still presentable, especially before receiving visitors and first thing every morning.
Part of this routine should also include ensuring that the mouth and eyes remain closed and also that the hands have not slipped apart, regularly use a moisturising spray on the face and hands and apply a light film of Vaseline to the lips, if you wish, use a fabric deodorising spray such as Febreeze on the clothes and surrounding linen, if you find you are trying to mask more than the usual odours then take that as a sign to rethink the current situation.

If at all possible then you should try to keep all windows and doors closed as much as possible, particularly during the warmer seasons, this is to prevent flies from entering the room that the deceased is resting in.
For instance if a common fly enters the room and lays its eggs on the deceased, this could result in maggots in as little as 24 to 30 hours which will be extremely upsetting for everyone involved.
The main areas to guard are the mouth and the nose therefore at times between visiting always ensure that the face is covered with a large face cloth or handkerchief, or any other similar item.

Cedarwood oil which is known for its properties as an insect repellent dripped onto a small piece of cotton wool and left in the mouth or the cloth covering the face may help prevent this distressing occurrence.

Good Luck.

If you use your common sense and carry out as far as possible the tasks and advice we have provided here then you can be assured that you will have done the best that you possibly can
for the deceased in order to ensure that the care you have given them in life is carried over into death.

If you need any help or advice relevant to the content of this page, then just ask.

We welcome sensible suggestions, ideas and comments.

You may also be interested in How To Officiate A Funeral Ceremony.

The guide that accompanies this one is No Last Office For The Deceased